But I am an adventurer in training (what with the geography degree and all) and thus, I have tried the Wahl Percussion Massager. I won’t hesitate to say it’s magical. A couple of posts ago, I said it was kinda “meh.” I attribute that to my adrenal glands being shot by two consecutive weeks of stimulants, fluorescent lights, and dried foods with a side of sleep deprivation. I’ve come around to this massager/bat/club, and I apologize for my rudeness earlier.
Pictured: The Wahl, Wahl attachments, my cat.
Unlike the original Wahl, this thing comes with 4 attachments, only two of which matter at all. The thing with the four prongs is great for actual massages, but that’s why god invented people. Also, it’s a different material from the rest of the attachments, which I think are all ABS plastic. The bumpy thing in front of it is actually purposeless. Cat toy material. The dome shaped jaunt, second from the front, I like quite a lot, and the shape ensures it doesn’t quite so much with the clit stabbing. The pointy thing isssssss pointy, but occasionally nice. Granted, all of these attachments (especially the dome-shaped one) are wide, so if you prefer pinpoint stimulation, this may not be the best match.
I have a morbid interest in vibrators that don’t vibrate. The motor makes the attachment move up and down like a jack hammer, though I don’t know how much I can tell the difference. It goes fast enough that it feels like a rumbly vibration.
The speeds are scrollable, and as soon as I turn it on, it’s enough for me. Anything beyond the lowest possible setting is nearly too much, especially with the pointed tip.
The cord is about 8.5 ft, which feels generous to me. Can’t say I’ve weighed it, but based on the descriptions of the original Wahl shape/size/mass, it’s a less cumbersome experience. The handle works well, and it doesn’t hog too much space, meaning use with a dildo isn’t out of the question.
Awesome things include leaving this plugged in next to your bed, rolling over at 3 am, hammering your clit for 4 orgasms in under a minute without freaking your cat out, and then tossing it back to the side of your bed. Truly, my Fairy Wand is lame in comparison. The only drawback is that it’s like 3x the price of the original Wahl. This is still pretty damn affordable. Also people won’t know it’s a vibrator. Do it. Do the thing.