Update

Hi internet!

After not blogging for a year an a half, and an actual 6 month hiatus from this thesis from hell, I have made a decision.

I am condensing this festering tumor of a paper into one, singular, non-editorialized article, briefly portraying the work that sex toy reviewers do specifically relating to campaigning against PVC and phthalates in sex toys.

I’m not gonna fux with talking about packaging, language, marketing, or any other type of foucauldian content or textual analysis. It’s cumbersome, and I am not actually trained in that. Although I think it’s equally important work, and as a geographer is more relevant to my original quest of determining how sex positive feminism changes sexual spaces………..my advising committee was always utterly bewildered by it. Further, I can’t make an honest commentary on the subject without going on and on about the neoliberalism implicit in this mode of activism and it’s too heady.

Thus, this will all boil down to a small article, no more than 2000 words. And I’m glad.

And then I can move on and put this all to rest.

Yay.

 

Jesus I’m bad at blogging

So the school year has started and we’ve got all these “welcome back” activities.

I will not make it to these activities. And it’s really fun to tell people why.

I will be going to the most fabulous If anyone wants to hang out there, I want to meet you. If anyone wants to contribute a few lines of chat for my article, please do!

My classmates have challenged me to bring back the most/best/worst/weirdest swag I can possibly get. I can say only this:

Pardon the radio silence, but THINGS HAPPENING

I’ve moved! Like, physically. To a new city. And getting my internet legs back hasn’t been easy. But I’m here, and I have things to tell you.

Here’s a thing: I won a grant! My little geography department has given me a little grant to attend CatalystCon West!

There, I will be stalking every single person with my tape recorder and pen and paper because I want to know how YOU interact with the internet! And dildos! And each other!

My project is still being formed, but essentially, I’m interested in whether members of the greater sex-positive community want to see state oversight of sex toy materials and manufacture. As a geographer, this question is relevant to me in two distinct ways:

1. How would the US government oversee materials manufactured overseas, given the liquid nature of sex toy supply chains?

2. How do sex-positive educators, bloggers, consumers, and business people determine the standards through collective interaction?

3. What are the risks of governance?

Guys, I’m super excited! In addition to the occasional sex toy review, I’ll be discussing the things I have to read for my literature review. I have a terrifying reading list that I’ve scarcely begun to broach, and I love every single thing on it. We’re going from Judith Butler and Foucault to Guatemala looking at body politics to the reaches of Haraway’s Cyborg Manifesto where we’ll meet Cyberfeminism.

After a heinously long list of articles spanning such subjects as “Human-Computer Interaction as sexuality,” “The geography of Youtube and Viagra” and “Dildos as neoliberalism,” I will begin “primary research,” which will incorporate Ducky Doolittle’s Sex With the Lights On and Tristan Taormino’s The Feminist Porn Book.

If there’s anything you think I should read, let me know! This act of masochism is already underway, but I’m never afraid of a challenge! Also, I may morph into Zizek by the time I’m done here.

 

 

I’m having trouble picking a thing

OMG Grad school

I’m being eaten aliiiiiive!

But I have a project. I will be comparing a supply chain analysis of two sex toys! I’ll also be discussing their marketing and consumer base. Stay tuned for updates, as this is part of a much larger body of work. In the meantime, please enjoy this picture of a vibrator that I plan to academically slaughter.

Oh, you.

Tantus’ Mikey 02 god damnit!

So once upon a 3 weeks ago, I was all like “I should review the Mikey!” And I should have because it’s really great. And I’m gonna do it right the hell now. Unfortunately, I can’t get a crappy photo of it because it’s at my boyfriend’s house, and I’m hella forgetful, and bleuiwhedlqbdqn. Also, I have a weird, tangentially related IUD update that was preventing penetration from happening.

I’m bad at life.

The Mikey, however, is really good at life. The Mikey is thick, but not too; short and stout; and squishy, but only just so. The Mikey is made with your cervix in mind, if you have one. It is not a long dildo. In terms of thrusting, where normally I have to be careful with my cervix, and not ram large objects into it at high speeds, the Mikey doesn’t disturb it. But what the Mikey lacks in length, it makes up in (relative) width. With a diameter of 1.6″ it isn’t a dildo for the size queens. It’s the thickest thing I own and the thickest I can handle, for what it’s worth, and the texture, which is that more matte silicone, ensures there’s no shortage of sensation. The tip is unique in that it’s more like the shiny silicone that Tantus is known for, but the rest is the draggy kind. That dildo wants you to know it’s there, but wants to make entrance easy for you. BRILLIANT.

This is the only Tantus 02 toy I have, but it’s perfect consistency. I actually like it better than the Vixskin dual density (at least the Mustang’s) because it’s more dense and substantial. The squish is very shallow on the Mikey, and to me that gives it more body, but that’s a matter of personal taste. The consistency, I have found, provides more resistance during orgasm, which is a really cool sensation. I don’t really know how to describe that. It’s like the difference between a crunchy taco and a soft taco.

Pictured: A taco with an identity crisis. Those are potatoes. What is going on here?

With a thick base, shiny head, and shorter shape, it’s pretty great for a harness, I imagine. You can get zealous with the thrusting without gouging anyone’s junk. Ditto having a partner use it by hand. Go nuts!

Couple of things though: 1. It only comes in “never seen the sun vampire flesh” and “maybe south of france flesh” and I got probably one of the last black ones. Boo. Also, if you need X-TREME g-spot stimulaion, maybe look elsewhere. While the Mikey has a kiiiiinda exaggerated head, and a wee bit of a curve, it isn’t laser-guided to the g-spot by any means. Just sayin.

Now, I wanted to get this review done during the month of Feb because Tantus is selling all 02 line dildos at 30% off with the code IHEARTYOU til the end of the month, which is like. Really really soon. You should prolly get your hands on one here.

OMG this exists

Cthulhu dildos, people. In amazing colors. I don’t think I could handle it, but I’m sure one of you brave souls can!

Modding sex toys

I found this article about adapting sex toys for use by people with various physical disabilities. It’s a really cool article because it discusses some of the less obvious issues associated with disability, like increased or decreased sensation. Anyway, check it out here.

Sex toys are really important for reasons like this. They’re instrumental in providing sexual satisfaction to a wide variety of people who might feel limited by their physiology. Hooray tools!

I’m migrating!

I got me a WordPress! One reason for that is that because this tumblr isn’t my primary tumblr, I can’t follow people back, which is sad. Also, the interface makes me go “meh.” The new blog is under construction. I’ll continue using this tumblr, but not for my larger posts or reviews.

I think I had 4 orgasms in under a minute

So the Wahl. Both the original and the heated version have been reviewed by people who know things.

But I am an adventurer in training (what with the geography degree and all) and thus, I have tried the Wahl Percussion Massager. I won’t hesitate to say it’s magical. A couple of posts ago, I said it was kinda “meh.” I attribute that to my adrenal glands being shot by two consecutive weeks of stimulants, fluorescent lights, and dried foods with a side of sleep deprivation. I’ve come around to this massager/bat/club, and I apologize for my rudeness earlier.

Pictured: The Wahl, Wahl attachments, my cat.

Unlike the original Wahl, this thing comes with 4 attachments, only two of which matter at all. The thing with the four prongs is great for actual massages, but that’s why god invented people. Also, it’s a different material from the rest of the attachments, which I think are all ABS plastic. The bumpy thing in front of it is actually purposeless. Cat toy material. The dome shaped jaunt, second from the front, I like quite a lot, and the shape ensures it doesn’t quite so much with the clit stabbing. The pointy thing isssssss pointy, but occasionally nice. Granted, all of these attachments (especially the dome-shaped one) are wide, so if you prefer pinpoint stimulation, this may not be the best match.

I have a morbid interest in vibrators that don’t vibrate. The motor makes the attachment move up and down like a jack hammer, though I don’t know how much I can tell the difference. It goes fast enough that it feels like a rumbly vibration.

The speeds are scrollable, and as soon as I turn it on, it’s enough for me. Anything beyond the lowest possible setting is nearly too much, especially with the pointed tip.

The cord is about 8.5 ft, which feels generous to me. Can’t say I’ve weighed it, but based on the descriptions of the original Wahl shape/size/mass, it’s a less cumbersome experience. The handle works well, and it doesn’t hog too much space, meaning use with a dildo isn’t out of the question.

Awesome things include leaving this plugged in next to your bed, rolling over at 3 am, hammering your clit for 4 orgasms in under a minute without freaking your cat out, and then tossing it back to the side of your bed. Truly, my Fairy Wand is lame in comparison. The only drawback is that it’s like 3x the price of the original Wahl. This is still pretty damn affordable. Also people won’t know it’s a vibrator. Do it. Do the thing.